what is up

what is up is I haven't posted to here for so long I had to do the email-my-password reminder thing

ah Naked Condo (NC), have I neglected you since June?

what is up is the usual sort of thing for a 40-year-old with operational gear - of course I have an entire non-NC life - but since NC is all about sex, or the lack thereof...

what is up is when I have time, using StumbleUpon to collect porn images I like, and to social porn-network with others

You're welcome to have a look,

http://nakedcondo.stumbleupon.com/

of course when I say "porn", it's really more "nude art", or as someone artfully put it

That is NOT porn...that is art, merely placed in the wrong hands, so to speak.

So far, this "social" activity has not led to any connections with hot porn-loving babes keen to take my virginity.

Nor has it led even to any meeting of porn-powered male mutual masturbation enthusiasts.

Which latter non-jackbuddying may be for the best, I dunno. The one time I did try it with a friend, I was much more nervous than I expected so while he had a fun time and blasted twice, I barely managed to get one shot off (there was no contact, we just watched each other). Although perhaps in this as with other sexual matters, practice would make perfect.

He's moved away and married now, as are most of my friends. The woe of the 40-yo solo - well I guess you can't win either way - if you're 16, you generally don't dare ask friends to jack and they generally wouldn't dare agree even if you did. Once you're older and no one cares, everyone is married off and busy with their families, and then it's just kinda creepy - what are you going to do, be upfront and ask the wife if she minds her husband jacking with you? Or ask him to do it in secret, which is lame, plus which he probably have neither the time nor the juvenile horny energy, plus which what time he does have for sex he would probably rather devote to, you know, actual sex. Or they do agree, but it's because they have some hidden bi or gay fantasies they want to live out, whereas I just want to hang with ordinary cool straight guys who enjoy jacking to porn.

Or you do meet a girl online, but all you have in common is porn, and how do you get to a regular relationship from there? So, you like porn? Yeah, me too. Umm... so... do you also like... stuff?

Masturbating to porn, while certainly (not?) harmful as a central sex activity, is not exactly generally one that leads itself to building upon, at least if you're not 20 anymore.

Hmm, what else is up... you can also socialise with my pornitude through Twitter

http://twitter.com/nakedcondo

which mostly consists of groundbreaking tweets like "jacking off to computer porn again"

and FriendFeed, which aggregates all of my various porn-presence into one place

http://friendfeed.com/nakedcondo

ah, technology, providing millions of ways to not meet people

I have also tried various sites, with and without pictures of my gear - no luck there either.

So far, unsuccessful approaches have included:
* here's a picture of my gear
* I like to jack to porn, want to take my cherry?
* elaborate non-pornific profile including regular pic
* I have a good job and travel a lot, why don't any of you want me?
* multi-years of writing about sex-related topics that I thought were either amusing or interesting in this blog, before I nuked it

I think it's probably an impossible situation.
Women don't connect to people through their web presences generally, so it doesn't matter that I have an extensive personal presence, work presence, and porn-collection presence. Guys just surf around and jack, and (if they're straight anyway) generally aren't interested in a jacking connection. Plus which any of very small group of girls and guys that might be interested are probably in their 20s.

So what do you do, I guess if you're y0ung and hot you put up full-body shots on hookup sites and have no problems maybe. Probably you have no problems regardless of where you look to meet people.

So what do you do? I guess you can do the whole eharmony, lavalife thing, with the profile and the many full pictures and face photos and the waiting and then you at best have to do the dating and the "so do you like stuff?" conversations.

Maybe it's a guy thing but fvck, who wants to do all that?

What you really want to do is something like, here I am, kinda average, 150 with the usual 40-year-old paunch, still have my hair, gear still works fine and is up every morning like clockwork (also totally average size, uncut, if you like that kind of info), I'd like to just have a regular relationship with ordinary sex with some nice attractive woman.

I like music, movies, television, books, porn, masturbation, walking, the web, a little bit of computer gaming - all the usual stuff, I'm not particularly obsessive about any of them - I have 1000 books, I have a hundred or so CDs, I have thousands of iTunes tracks, I have a few dozen DVDs of movies and TV shows, I have a few hundred nude art images collected online - it's all just different forms of entertainment.

When I think about it, actually what I want is buds, not so much relationships. Either women friends with benefits - some nights we watch movies, other nights we have sex, or guy jacking buddies - some nights we watch TV or play computer games, other nights we jack to porn. I guess this is maybe a bit of an immature approach to life - friends as entertainment partners, but for women it could also go from friends with benefits to girlfriends...

I guess what I'm saying is I don't want the hassle - which of course is not a winner generally speaking with women - they want you to put an effort in, to win the prize. I just want to hang out and have fun, enjoying all of the forms of entertainment available to adults, from watching a good movie, to jacking to porn (with guys) or working on my cunnilingus skills (err, with women, obviously).

Probably an unpossible situation to set up at least for a 40-something purely working on it online. Oh well... back to porn surfing. And that is what is up.