it's official: 40 YOV

Yeah, it's official, I'm a 40 year old virgin.

In fact, not only have I not had oral or intercourse, I haven't done anything.
No third base, no second base, no first base.
No kissing, no fondling, no holding hands.

I am the purest of the pure.

Well, except for the self-masturbation.

I blame involuntary celibacy.

I would be quite happy to fuck.
Really.
Err, women.